A Traveler's Guide to Vorestation: Difference between revisions
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Congratulations! You've survived your journey to the [[Virgo Orbital Research Establishment]]. However, your struggle to survive has only just begun. If you're reading this, you're already one step ahead of the competition. Bear in mind that this guide is '''NOT''' written by or sanctioned by [[NanoTrasen]]. These are tips and tricks that THEY don't want you to see! Keep it away from [[Shitcurity]] because ''they'll'' say it's contraband. ''I'' say it's your guide to making it out in the wild frontier. Start taking notes, because you're about to be schooled in all the unwritten rules of Virgo. | Congratulations! You've survived your journey to the [[Virgo Orbital Research Establishment]]. However, your struggle to survive has only just begun. If you're reading this, you're already one step ahead of the competition. Bear in mind that this guide is '''NOT''' written by or sanctioned by [[NanoTrasen]]. These are tips and tricks that THEY don't want you to see! Keep it away from [[Shitcurity]] because ''they'll'' say it's contraband. ''I'' say it's your guide to making it out in the wild frontier. Start taking notes, because you're about to be schooled in all the unwritten rules of Virgo. | ||
First of all, let's deal with the elephant in the room. You may have heard the rumors, and they're true. Virgo is filled with [[Vore|man-eating]] aliens and splicers hell bent on having you for dinner, and sometimes breakfast depending on timezones. Out here in Virgo, it's EAT or BE EATEN! If your species isn't capable of doing that, we suggest visiting a black market splicer to have your genetics tweaked, and we urge you NOT to opt out of the NanoTrasen healthcare package. Trust me, you'll need it. You're about to become VERY well acquainted with the resleeving bay. | First of all, let's deal with the elephant in the room. You may have heard the rumors, and they're true. Virgo is filled with [[Vore|man-eating]] aliens and splicers hell bent on having you for dinner, and sometimes breakfast depending on timezones. Out here in Virgo, it's EAT or BE EATEN! If your species isn't capable of doing that, we suggest visiting a black market splicer to have your genetics tweaked, and we urge you NOT to opt out of the NanoTrasen healthcare package. Trust me, you'll need it. You're about to become VERY well acquainted with the resleeving bay. | ||
=The Unwritten Rules of Vore Station= | =The Unwritten Rules of Vore Station -- THIS IS A JOKE PAGE= | ||
#In Virgo, you're either a predator, or you're prey. | #In Virgo, you're either a predator, or you're prey. | ||
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#Predators get to do whatever they want. | #Predators get to do whatever they want. | ||
#Predators can become prey at any time to a bigger and badder predator. | #Predators can become prey at any time to a bigger and badder predator. | ||
#The [[Colony Director]] is the alpha. If they don't act like it, you are obligated to eat them. | #The [[Colony Director|Site Manager]] is the alpha. If they don't act like it, you are obligated to eat them. | ||
#Anyone who eats the | #Anyone who eats the Site Manager has the right to assume their role. | ||
#Eating your rivals is a valid way to ascend the corporate ladder. | #Eating your rivals is a valid way to ascend the corporate ladder. | ||
#Anyone who defies the pecking order should ''also'' be eaten, especially Security. | #Anyone who defies the pecking order should ''also'' be eaten, especially Security. | ||
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#Mlems are preferable but Awoos are also accepted. | #Mlems are preferable but Awoos are also accepted. | ||
#Tempest Venosare is the best at Mlems. | #Tempest Venosare is the best at Mlems. | ||
[[Category:Joke pages]] |
Latest revision as of 07:58, 31 May 2023
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Congratulations! You've survived your journey to the Virgo Orbital Research Establishment. However, your struggle to survive has only just begun. If you're reading this, you're already one step ahead of the competition. Bear in mind that this guide is NOT written by or sanctioned by NanoTrasen. These are tips and tricks that THEY don't want you to see! Keep it away from Shitcurity because they'll say it's contraband. I say it's your guide to making it out in the wild frontier. Start taking notes, because you're about to be schooled in all the unwritten rules of Virgo.
First of all, let's deal with the elephant in the room. You may have heard the rumors, and they're true. Virgo is filled with man-eating aliens and splicers hell bent on having you for dinner, and sometimes breakfast depending on timezones. Out here in Virgo, it's EAT or BE EATEN! If your species isn't capable of doing that, we suggest visiting a black market splicer to have your genetics tweaked, and we urge you NOT to opt out of the NanoTrasen healthcare package. Trust me, you'll need it. You're about to become VERY well acquainted with the resleeving bay.
The Unwritten Rules of Vore Station -- THIS IS A JOKE PAGE
- In Virgo, you're either a predator, or you're prey.
- Break any of these rules, and you will be prey.
- Predators get to do whatever they want.
- Predators can become prey at any time to a bigger and badder predator.
- The Site Manager is the alpha. If they don't act like it, you are obligated to eat them.
- Anyone who eats the Site Manager has the right to assume their role.
- Eating your rivals is a valid way to ascend the corporate ladder.
- Anyone who defies the pecking order should also be eaten, especially Security.
- Do not lick the APCs. Nobody knows why. Just don't do it.
- Hurting Ian is grounds for being lynched. Leave Ian alone. You have been warned.
- Food in the bar will be eaten. Don't put it on the counter if you're going to be mad when it's gone.
- The AI laws on dog borgs do NOT stop them from eating you. This is a
bugfeature. Avoid them. Or don't. - Do not stand still under the balcony ledge.
- Do not fuck with the carp in the atrium. If you want fish, go fishing.
- Never look a Sergal in the mouth.
- If you find crew members touching inappropriately, mind your own fucking business, and go back the way you came.
- Leave Gaslamps alone. They haven't done anything to you.
- A stomach is a perfectly valid and legal way for Security to imprison you.
- Security does not rat on other Security when it comes to eating prisoners, except for the members of Security who are actually rodent-like in appearance.
- Mlems are preferable but Awoos are also accepted.
- Tempest Venosare is the best at Mlems.