Clown
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ENTERTAINMENT STAFF | |
Clown |
Access: Difficulty: HONK! Supervisors: Duties: Be "Funny"Funny Operating Procedure: Clown |
Overview
Clowning is a prestigious art that requires an SCA years of studying and training at the Clown Planet Institute. Clowns are known for their Masks and funny hair, their dramatic red clothing, and their massive oversized shoes. They're lesser known for telling jokes, putting on plays, making a general fool of themselves, getting grievously injured, selling insurance, and pulling WaCkY pRaNkS! Some clowns are sad, some clowns are happy, some clowns are horny, but all clowns are supposed to be entertaining, even if they aren't always funny.
Clown Traditions
Clowns have traditional rituals passed down even outside of the Clown Planet Institute, that, while not confirmed by actual documented data, have been passed down by word of mouth. The clown, as per nonverbal agreement, is encouraged to act like they got in a shuttle accident to act in ways that would normally land an average crewmember in the Psychologist's office, or worse, a Security Officer's stomach the Brig. These include, but are not limited to: hiding your identity, refusing to ever take your mask off, being a shitty greytider who goes around collecting tools like its loot taking things you don't really need, using said tools to Hack into places that don't come with your job, and eating the CRO playing pranks on your fellow crewmembers. Common tools of the trade include: Banana Peels, Banana Cream Pies, your trusty Bike Horn, and whatever you can get your filthy grubby hands on whatever tools you find in maintenance along the way.
Classic Clown Pranks
Prank! | Prank Description! | Prank Consequences! |
---|---|---|
Lube in the hallway! | Just lube up some tiles and watch em fly right |
Never put lube in front of an airlock or |
HONK people! | Hit people with your bike horn! Slip them then honk them! Top tier prank! | Some people will be so angry than you honked them they will attempt to kill you! |
Start a revolution! | Try to overthrow Command and Security! Do it! The Site Manager and Head of Security will laugh their asses off as you |
If you fail you will most definitely be executed! |
Sell Fake Insurance! | Insurance Fraud is hip and happening this season! Just pick a funny name like "Mog'hes Dental" and sell it to your crewmates! See how much you can rack up in fraudulent premiums! | They may try to |
Attempt to Summon the Spirit of the Honkmother! | Form a ritual in the chapel! Draw runes in crayon! Collect |
Get sent to the Psychiatrist's office for intensive therapy. Incarceration for disturbing the piece. Getting stricken by lightning because you |
Be funny! | Do it! Be funny! It's not like anyone ever asked you about YOUR feelings on the matter. HONK. It's not like you're a normal person just like anyone else. *capgun noises* You're just a poor tortured soul wearing your heart on your greasepaint stained face mask. *rapid double horn squeezing*. | No one is laughing... |
Jobs on Vorestation | |
Command | Site Manager, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Chief Engineer, Research Director, Chief Medical Officer |
Security | Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective |
Engineering | Chief Engineer, Engineer, Atmospheric Technician |
Cargo | Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner |
Medical | Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Paramedic, Psychologist, Chemist, |
Science | Research Director, Scientist, Roboticist, Xenobiologist |
Service & Civilian | Intern/Visitor, Bartender, Botanist, Chef, Chaplain, Command Secretary, Janitor, Librarian, Pilot |
Station-Bound | AI, Cyborg, Maintenance Drone, Personal AI, Ghost, Mouse |
ITV Talon | Talon Captain, Talon Pilot, Talon Guard, Talon Doctor, Talon Engineer |